OUT OF MY MEMORY BOOK

A bosom friend of mine in passing pointed out a nature in me that I have an  adamant or stubborn   streak in me which I had thought I had dropped it along life’s path way .Strangely in human nature  when such is pointed out  there is  a quiet rebellion to repudiate it to the extent of denial ,so too with me .

                                  However in the confines of my room in slow retrospection I humbly had to admit that  harsh realities of Life  besotted me and I had  let it submerge  within  put it down  as sign of growth and acting mature  paid for turning adult.

                                Most of us in our childhood are showered by love , petted by parents and doted by grand parents . We are given the license to having our own way. I for one was exceptionally   loved as the apple of the eye specially by my ammamma  who nurtured a special partiality  love for me .

                                   Every summer holidays we used to go to my grandmamma ‘s house and I remember distinctly the picturesque scene of meeting of my cousins nephews and nieces aunts and uncles oh what pure fun!  It was heavenly time of the year hot sticky sun poring over us accompanied by sudden showers in the evenings due to the humidity made our time there a joyous  one .

                            I was in my sixth class when this incident happened which made me to admit to my friend days later that he had an intuitive perceptive thinking in telling a facet about me.

                           Among all my cousins my hair was the thickest and longest and mummy being a working woman had great difficulty in taking care of my hair .I had Eisnopilis complaint and doctor’s advice to cut my hair short and though  faithfully done it grew all the more. It was one such day and  those washing days I’d be slightly grumpy because mum used to devote a complete two hours to washing and drying my hair . and though the work was for her I felt tied down to mom while others taking less time would rush off to play soon.     

                                       Anyway I was pacified with the news that we were all going to the Exhibition cum sale and mind full of the amusements ,eats and games took away my grumpiness . I am a simpleton basically, so little things fascinate me I used to skip run along side never quiet for one moment enjoying every little thing in nature and in my surroundings I believed all I loved all human beings and trusted in the basic goodness of humanity.

                                     The Trade Fair had just about everything  the amusements like the Dark house ,the Fearful snake headed girl ,the Devil’s Den’’ The Fancy mirrors ‘ the games ‘’Housie Housie ‘’’,Ringing  the articles ‘the Rides like ‘’train rides’’’’ waterfall rides’’ ,’’Merry go round’’ ‘giant wheel and many more made me to gasp in wonder .

                      Oh to mention about the eats the big pink sugar candy ,chips , pop corns ice creams colorful huge  papadams and what not !Our  stomachs never refused anything .. the good old days wafts before my eyes and I don’t intend to become sentimental though nostalgic I do tend to  feel .

                          Games and eats over next shopping and buying  .mostly it was window shopping buying here and there a few articles . My eye suddenly rested upon  an extra fitting attached to plaited hair it is colorfully beaded with mock –pearls used primarily in  Bartha -natyam   by dancers . Desire soaring to hill peaks   I nudged my mom who immediately turned me down saying papa wouldn’t like such things tied to hair .

                             My next approach was my grandmamma  who said it  cannot be  used for long hair for it will look comical and she being strictly puritanic in  her beliefs felt it’s also  vanity .she began very gently preaching how simplicity is important ornament for good girls in good families ..blah blah she went on ..I knew its not going to work out so my face turned gloomy but picked up my spirits ran on to my uncles who I thought would favor me but strangely found them refusing thus throwing cold water on my kutti wish Now I began sulking and brought tears to my eyes a powerful emotional weapon of the weaker sex is it not ?to play .I sadly wondered why the  Adult world should refuse the simple wishes of little children .?   

                                  I knew I was behaving  a bit too much but my ego adamancy reigned supreme .I spoilt my afternoon .I refused some  most -wanted eats like ice creams  and pani puri with channa Many an alternatives was suggested but I staunchly  refused .

                                      We came back and all my cousins were talking about the fun displaying what they had bought . This made me alienated so I began crying and my grandmamma intending to pacify stole in to my hands some sweet items but I refused instead went up to open terrace  which looks down to the kitchen and the main house .I stood there because  I could be seen by my ammama and mum  I felt that  I could draw their attention Tears were drying up so I fancied myself getting caught by my second language teacher for not giving up memorized poems and then tears made fresh arrival . It s interesting to note that I felt like Shylock ‘’ I was more sinned against than sinning ‘’and wailing I kept repeating  a phrase monotonously ‘’But its not a such a costly thing I asked isn’t it ?‘’about fifty times .

                   Initially I was pacified by every one but I did not heed so I think they became  quiet  adopting a psychological precept by ignoring me and my  bawling tears came down to sobs then sniffles and I found  I had become tired also so quietly came down found all relaxing  while my cousins brothers sister were immersed in indoor games  .So I approached  my grandmamma  She was ever ready to console by laying my head on her lap It was a comfortably cozy my eyes heavy with crying slowly began shutting as she befitting her age  garrulously  kept telling how obedience to elders is a virtue and stubbornness is  a vice .etc etc fell on my ears her sounds slowly receding and  I felt it was a lullaby and went  off into a quiet  deep sleep .Waking  up next morning all was forgotten .None referred to it .The rest of my holidays went by just as wonderful as before .

                             However mom could  not help narrating to papa when we came back the tantrums I had created . I felt foolish  though my nature in the growing years  had undergone   a change . Thanks to my dearest  friend who pointed it out at least I  was able to bring out of my memory book that incident which makes me smile and blush at the same time .